Recently I have had the living shit scared out of me. No, I haven’t been to a haunted house or watched a scary movie. It is all from watching A Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu. It’s simple. People honestly sit in our government that think somewhat similar and no matter how much you try to admonish this upon their supporters, the votes will still come.

You see it constantly. Not one person reading this can say they haven’t at least opened a thread on a Facebook discussion (political argument) and thought, “Holy shit, this is nuts.”

Why did you think that? Because facts are gone, stats are now a lie and every person in the U.S. has an excuse that makes them the expert. They are right and no one else is. In a country where roadside billboards nationwide now have signs that say, “There is Evidence for God” and urge you to call 855-for-truth, anything is now possible. Conspiracy theories are accepted, Alex Jones is a patriotic American and science is a lie. (bonus: 104 Actual Headlines from Alex Jones’ InfoWars)

Photo courtesy of  Flickr , under creative commons license

Photo courtesy of Flickr, under creative commons license

We’re headed to a special kind of hell that is of our own doing. Where the real Hell never existed, the believers thought it best to subconsciously create one. Their hypocrisy is non-existent with the new logic of America and their sins can easily be forgiven with a prayer and a vote for Fuhrer Trump. It doesn’t matter if you think, or attempt to do so, only that you stand for the Pledge.

It makes perfect sense that we have ended up here. A high standard of living, unrivaled power, constant marketing, materialism, entitlement, multi-level marketing, an Internet of echo chambers, polarized politics, biblical literalism, hidden racism, easy outs and a the political mythotainment complex that began with the first actor president, 37 years ago, have made us the bastard nation of the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) countries. The rest of the world is looking at us in utter disbelief and still, a very large percentage of our population, with zero world view, believes they absolutely know more. They know so much and are so patriotic that they might even tell certain people to leave the country and never come back if someone has so much as questioned.

That the country once achieved such highs and is now moving backwards, has become the justification to suspend all ability to think. As the US enters the unthinkable territory of becoming the first poor superpower, with male longevity actually falling, household incomes falling against inflation for 40 years and economic disparity equal to a third world country, the myths associated with a country that once was are easy to grasp for many than tackling policy failures. A hat that says, “Make America Great Again” is easier than admitting we have been sold a line of bullshit.

The rise of Trump has given them a renewed sense of power and being on the right side of history. Suddenly, moving to the right of the highway shoulder by 400 feet means you sit exactly in the center. Anyone near the center or that ever bothered to take a logic class, is now a Commie. Na Zdorovie!

So, let’s get to the point. Here is a list of every argument that reaffirms the rest of us shouldn’t even bother anymore: 

Fake News

We must start with the new rally cry of the right. What started as phenomenon of kids from Macedonia making bank from stories designed to trick and incense conservatives, has been turned back around by them. It is the new supplement for the term main stream media. One could ask if the inverse term of alternative media is now the purveyor of real news, but we all know that the articles written at a fifth-grade level about PizzaGate and the 30,000 scientists that dispute global warming, will always win.

Recently, even Fox News had a rash of social media proclamations against it as a purveyor of fake news. Why? Their latest poll showed Donald Trump at a 40% approval rating.

The argument is now so simple. If they don’t like what it says, it is fake. Only a news source that continually tells them what they want can be real.

Of course, it was the largest inauguration ever. The pictures were faked by a news media that doesn’t want to admit to our new President’s popularity.

Even worse, you can include an actual Trump tweet to show his Moron-In-Chief for what he is and even that will be called fake news.

Hey. I don’t like the thought of climate change wrecking my kid’s future, but that doesn’t mean I get to call it a hoax. 

Alternative Facts

Photo courtesy of  Flickr , under creative commons license

Photo courtesy of Flickr, under creative commons license

Ok. What the hell is an alternative to a fact? Believe it or not, the alternative to a fact is a lie. That this term has ever been used, even once, shows that the US is now subject to a world where stupidity is in charge and anything can be real. Will we outlaw the teaching of evolution soon as well? 

Tit – for Tat Arguments

For years the Fox News crowd was given scandal after scandal, whether they existed or not, about our former President. They were told he was constantly ignoring the Constitution and breaking the law. The Article “Criminal In Chief” — 78 Times President Obama Broke The Law During Presidency, lists such egregious activities as  trying to shut down family farms, proposing military intervention in Syria, “illegally” didn’t submit a budget on time and this laughable list goes on and on with offenses that either never happened or aren’t offenses in the first place. Many things listed as horrific on this list, pale in comparison to actions of the new President in less than 6 months. The Trump supporters will believe everything in their search for reaffirmation of the ego.

The common argument is that if Obama had done so many horrific things, surely Trump can be excused for his misdeeds. After all, Trump is going to defend the Constitution where Obama was trying to destroy it to found a Communist utopia.

Well people, regardless of what you think Barack Obama did, Trump is President now. You long ago showed us that a higher standard wasn’t what you wanted with the election of a vile human being. No, you’ll create any past act that justifies current actions despite how unconstitutional and ridiculous they might be. In fact, some of you justify the current racist sentiments as a valid response to the “horrors” you were subjected to for 8 years.

There is no point arguing this either. 

Common Sense

It is so painful when one of them says, “You can have all your facts and stats, but I have common sense.” The reasoning behind this is that stats can be manipulated to fit the narrative but what this country has been lacking is common sense, despite that people with common sense actually would use good data.

Obtaining this common sense is apparently the function of hours of reading and watching news and commentary sources that frequently abuse the living shit out of actual data to achieve their points.

So… no matter how often you quote an actual stat or fact, it doesn’t matter. Obviously, you have no “common sense”.

Walk away and save your breath. 

Science is Your Religion

Seriously? Is their “common sense” unable to distinguish between a religion and science? When was the last time you saw a peer reviewed paper discussing how many times someone in the old testament lived to be older than 500?

This is the de facto argument from someone that is religious, their religion supersedes good governance and everything else in the world is out to destroy their way of life. Their reasoning, or lack of it, has a Christian country being destroyed and the scientists are in on it. A belief in scientific tenants at odds with their religion is not only an attack but also indicates the presence of an evil liberal.

Isn’t it funny that science process seeks to correct itself while religion and politics often mean doubling down on what already hasn’t been working? Science can be neither a religion or a political conviction. It’s simply science and it doesn’t care what you believe.

Recent discussions observed online even have the Trumpanistas disavowing math. Seriously math? If math didn’t exist as a universal constant, neither would we.

Once again, no amount of logic or facts will work here. They are impervious. 

Universities are Hotbeds of Communism (i.e. the educated should be dismissed for their bias)

Yes, it has happened. Experts don’t matter and education is now an indicator of stupidity. Those with degrees lack common sense, are indoctrinated, think they know it all and only argue points that fit their political bent.

Every single authoritarian movement has needed to marginalize the educated elite to maintain the populism and centralized control of the movement.  The US is now following this trend.

The everyman is reaffirmed in that they aren’t “brainwashed”.

Your degree and background means nothing with this crowd. Any expertise you have is a waste. They know how science works, understand economics and have a lock on their revised history.

Another instance of wasted breath is upon us.


You’re Just Another Snowflake, Mad that Hillary Won

No jackass, the election is long over. I am mad that my kid’s future is being destroyed. That’s the extent of the argument. They’ll believe that is the case regardless though.

Walk again

The list of logical and argumentative fallacies (isn’t cool I included a list of them?) goes on and on. There are straw man arguments, anecdotal evidence, false correlations, arguments of false consequences, etc. No debate judge is sitting there to show them they are wrong and even if there were, they wouldn’t accept it in any case.

This is America now. Our exclamations are wasted on the new experts of everything. A Ph.D means nothing. Critical thinking is dismissed. The crowd that thinks an open window wastes the air conditioning even if it is colder outside, has won. 

For now

A professor of history told me prior to the election that if Trump won he would kick back in his easy chair and watch the destruction. He knew the secret; that there would be no fix or argument until everything fell apart.

The world has changed and those of our ilk know the proposals of Trump are only detrimental to supporters. He can’t do what he promised. You can’t bring back jobs automated away. One cannot defeat an ideology. The workings of checks and balances restrain him for now.

20 percent of Trump supporters will always support him. The rest might eventually be up for grabs.


So, the art of the argument is dead. It gave way to the fake Art of the Deal. They believe their extremism is center right and nothing will change that.

Forget the argument. Keep it civil at the bar.

Our moment comes when we all turn out in 2018. Let’s expend our energy on motivating everyone that knows better when the time comes.

Sit back, watch the destruction, leave them with nothing to assuage their ego and get ready to act in less than 18 months.


  • No memes were harmed in the making of this article.