Photo courtesy of Flickr, under creative commons license

Photo courtesy of Flickr, under creative commons license

Treat Yourself with Kindness

It is a great commentary on humans that kindness has become a universal value.

Of course, not everyone is a complete enthusiast, but for them I suggest kindness.

But this is not about extending kindness to others, of which I am an advocate. This is about extending kindness to yourself.

I know many people who will go out of their way to show kindness to others, but many of these same people won’t take time for themselves.

There is an expression that an empty cup has nothing to share.

Because of this, I recommend taking the time to do some small things to fill your own cup.

1) Give yourself a break.

We are often our own worst critics. We self-deprecate and show the outside world how un-egotistic we are by absorbing all blame and responsibility.

But this can insidiously weaken our own self-worth, which is not kind.

If you wouldn’t treat someone else a certain way, don’t treat yourself that same way. It isn’t kind and you should not be excluded from kindness.

2) Take some time to show yourself you value you.

Carve out some time to do the things that alleviate stress, like meditation and exercise,and treat yourself to a massage periodically.

All of these activities reduce stress, which is the main cause of illness, and tell you that you are worthy.

Also, Bradley University indicates through their work on neuro-counseling that meditating 27 minutes a day increases your grey matter density, improving your ability to learn.

3) Unplug from the constant demands of life.

You are not the world’s personal concierge.

You do not have to be on call 24/7.

We often think taking care of everyone else is kind, but we must include ourselves and create boundaries.

This also gives others the opportunity to be kind to us. And if we value being kind, we must allow others the same access to that value.

Photo courtesy of Flickr, under creative commons license

Photo courtesy of Flickr, under creative commons license

4) When someone gives you something, say thank you.

Many of us will try to not accept gifts. This not only robs others of the pleasures of extending kindness, but it tells our subconscious mind that we don’t want to receive kindness.

This is an easy trick to fall for.

Many of us fall into the hero status in our lives and receiving feels unnatural.

We are the givers, but we must learn to allow the circuit to flow, and that requires receiving.

5) When something goes well, bask in it.

Our lives are often hurried and when something goes right we think Great! Okay, time to move on.

Give yourself time to enjoy the moment when life is kind to you. You deserve it. It doesn’t need to be moved on in a hurry. Savor moments.

It’s important to ask ourselves why we are doing what we do.

Often, we are hurrying and grinding so that one day we can relax and enjoy ourselves. Well, now is a good time to start.

Not only become someday may never come, but because we must habituate the ways in which we want to experience life.

Otherwise, when we do earn a break, we’ll have no idea how to take it.

See also at Jerry Mooney Books

See also at Jerry Mooney Books