If you’re a parent of a teenager, I don’t have to tell you that teens are notoriously difficult to deal with. Yes, you love them, but you wish they would just get past the “I know everything” stage. You’re missing your sweet little angel who used to believe everything you said and didn’t talk back as much. Well, now your teen is realizing that they don’t have to do everything you say, and one of those things just might be going to college.
Photo courtesy of Flickr, under creative commons license
I was one of these teens. Overall I was a good kid, but I hated school and the absolute last thing I wanted to do was go to college. In fact, I wanted to drop out of high school, but my parents put their foot down — I had to graduate from high school. They knew that a high school degree was important and held in higher regard than a GED in most cases. What I am grateful for, though, is that they didn’t pressure me to go to college. This allowed me to make my own decision to go, and when I did eventually go to university, I was pretty successful.
As a parent, you think you know what’s best for your kids, and in most cases, you do. But college is such a huge commitment that takes dedication, time, and money. As a parent, you think you know what’s best for your kids, and in most cases, you do. But college is such a huge commitment that takes dedication, time, money, and all the issues that come hand in hand - such as what to bring to college and what apartment to rent. Sending a kid off to university when they don’t want to be there is a recipe for disaster; the student may skip classes, switch majors, or even flunk out. Even if they don’t flunk out, delaying declaring a major will result in extra time spent in school, and extra debt incurred. With tuition as high as it is these days, you don’t want your kid to waste thousands of dollars — whether that be your money or their student loans — if they aren’t going to take their education seriously and don’t have direction.
But not pressuring your kid to go college doesn’t mean you give up on their future, or even give up on them ever going, it just needs to be a conversation. Having a conversation with your teen about how they are feeling, and what ideas they have for their future is a great place to start.
Start with asking them calmly why they don’t want to go to college. There are several reasons why a teen might not want to continue their education. Many college reluctant teens don’t know what they would want to major in or what kind of career they want, and don’t want to waste time figuring it out in school. Other students are already feeling a lot of educational stress in high school, and don’t feel like they want to continue that stress, especially if they have to pay for it. Asking them some questions will help address their reservations. From there, you can help them brainstorm majors or career possibilities, and also help them find ways to alleviate their school-related stress.
Both school stress and the fact I had no idea what I wanted to do with my future were the biggest factors for me not wanting to continue on to college. What helped me most was taking time off after high school. While at the time I thought I was just never going to go to college, the time off in the real world helped me find my passions and gave me a new appreciation for learning and formal education.
Let your teen know it’s okay to take some time off before ruling out college altogether. Spending a couple of years working and exploring hobbies may help focus their interests and life goals. In the meantime, encourage them to explore some aspects of college without committing to it. A great program that Arizona State University has recently made available is their Global Freshman Academy. This is a first-of-its-kind program that allows anyone to try freshman level classes at no cost or enrollment commitment. It’s a great way to try out college level classes for those who aren’t quite sure what to expect from college classes. The best thing about these classes is if they are passed with a C or higher, and you want to enroll in school, you can purchase the credits and put them towards your degree without taking the class again. It’s something I wish had been around when I graduated high school, as I did attend one financially draining semester of college right after high school to test it out, and it did not go well.
As an added bonus of trying out free online classes, your teen might find they prefer schooling online, just like millions of other students nationwide. Some students hate the idea of going to college because they view it the same as high school — scheduled classes with boring lectures taking time out of their day. Online classes are becoming increasingly popular among traditional and nontraditional students alike, as they are convenient and work around the student’s schedule, rather than the other way around. This freedom of schedule in your teen’s life may just be what gets them considering college.
While it may be your dream for your kids to go to college, them not wanting to go is not the end of the world. Have a conversation with them and assist them in exploring their options. Maybe they will choose college eventually and be successful at it. Maybe they won’t and will find other ways to find happiness and success. As long as you encourage them to keep doing their best, they will figure the rest out eventually.
