Stupid Little Boys;

Please note that I have started this letter by omitting the "dear". You do nothing that endears you to me, so don’t ever expect it. Secondly, I have referred to you as stupid little boys. Should you wish to enter the realm of men someday, you might want to take this all to heart.

I am writing this letter to call you out on bad behavior, much of it done online while you hide behind an IP address and a laptop. Each of you makes me look bad as a man. You also make my friends and other great guys look bad. Basically, you are not liked. Really not liked. Ok... you are actually greatly detested and should be thrown into a pit of venomous snakes!

There are few days where I am not informed of your activities by my many female friends. They have learned not to trust because of you and restrict their activities appropriately. Upon recently asking a friend why she doesn’t have a Facebook account her response was, “I tried it. If you see how crazy men are around me in public, just imagine how bad it was online.” She made a very valid point.

I once even tried online dating for a month or two several years ago. The women I met were very cautious but some opened up after I passed the litmus test of not sending lewd photographs. The stories were pretty horrific and one cannot blame them for judging the future from the past when considering the aberrations to respectful dialogue they had received. Basically, you assholes damaged my credibility right from the start.

There is a serious problem when a guy creates an online dating profile professing his desire for true love and marriage and then sends a picture of his erect penis to the first woman that responds to him. But that is just the tip of the iceberg. You berate women online that don’t give you the attention you want. When rejected on Tinder you go on about how much money you have, how cool you are and toss around insults faster than little old ladies in a slot machine tournament can hit the spin button.

Boy video gamers display massive amounts of misogynistic behavior while hidden behind their little headset pieces. You all use terms that would incur a massive ass whooping from me if they were ever said to my daughter. How dare you create an image of such complete assholery in the mind of a girl that just wants to play a video game online? I often envision each of you as a complete dork with an energy drink and a video game controller that has become permanently attached to your hand. I hope those girls have Call of Duty kill ratios that are twice of yours.

And now we come to you Men’s Movement guys. You already have all the rights. What more do you need? You are all just fueling bad behavior as you gather together online and complain that women don’t want you. Many of you describe yourself as the “perfect” guy or a “nice” guy and then fuel the fire of misogyny even further in your Internet group think apparatus. A few of you have even combined this fuel with some amount of mental disease and committed some tragic atrocities in the real world. You are angry that women don’t want you because you are not bodybuilders and pick up artists, as is so often professed in your circles. The fact of the matter is that it doesn't matter if you are a bodybuilder or a pickup artist. It does matter that you are emotionally immature whiners. It’s not just women that don’t like that behavior, no one likes emotional immaturity and whining.

Because of you all, I will never do online dating again. Why? I simply don’t want to be affiliated with any of you or any thing you patronize. It is because of each of you, I understand why women are more cautious now. They shouldn’t have to be.

I’ll say it again in case you didn’t already figure it out, you are simply making me look bad just for being a man. You are making all decent men look bad.

So here are few tips as you go out looking for love. If you heed them and stop embarrassing the rest of us, these might actually help you.

·         If you think you can berate a woman into liking you, you’re a moron. If it doesn't go in your favor, be a man and let it go.

·         Stalkers and creepers are universally disliked. Why would anyone want to be universally disliked? Think about that.

·         If you wouldn’t say it in person, don’t say it online. If you do you are just weak. Period.

·         Manner’s and respect are just as important when you are hiding behind an Internet address as they are out in the general public. Never forget that.

·         To expand on that, manners, respect, compassion and gentlemanly conduct are the hallmarks of true strength. Women do indeed prefer strong men.

·         Real men don’t complain and act like assholes. No those are the traits of spoiled little boys.

·         If she’s a great catch, bragging about your money or status will do nothing for you but make you look like a complete jackass.

·         Whatever mating lesson you learned in a strip club is wrong. Those are places that breed dysfunction. Cash is only exchanged for fake affection.

·         You create real harm with your behavior. Not only do you embarrass the rest of us, but you hurt innocent people, whether through your mental abuse of others or in fostering a frat boy dialogue that results in true physical harm.

·         Most importantly for your own survival: Don’t you ever, ever approach my daughter with lewd pictures or misogynistic statements. I will hunt your ass down.

Maybe these few tips will help you. Probably not. Most likely you will continue to make the rest of us look bad.

Just to say it one more time; I really don’t like you.

 

Brian

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Featured photo courtesy of Flickr, under license of Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial license

Brian McKay is a co-founder of zenruption. Brian swears he will never do Internet dating ever again. He is big on manners but does occasionally yell at people that tailgate him and don't pull over for emergency vehicles. Ok... he always yells at those people. Let it go Brian.