By gRant

I apply poker to most everything. Investing, business and even dealing with people in adverse circumstances. So why not apply it to dating? As I asked a friend recently, “Don’t you want to win at this?” He didn’t take my advice and now she is gone. Yes, we all want it to be like what was seen in the recent Romcom, but those aren’t real life.

Posturing: When I sit down to a game, how I look and carry myself is number one. Recently I was out at a bar known for singles and just wanted to go up to the guys looking around desperately and wearing logo’d t-shirts and give them a hug. Be cool, not desperate. Always, always, always dress in a way that shows confidence. Even if the shirt came from Costco, make sure it is fitted and simple. If you are a guy wearing a beer t-shirt, or any logo t-shirt, you’ll enter the game without any respect.

Communication: I listen instead of talking. What you say is telling me loads about you and your poker game. By doing this I can calculate my next move more appropriately. She or he is telling you things that you should pay attention to. Listen and ask questions. It is endearing to her and gives you clues in regards to your approach. You stand to learn that which makes her feel special and be that guy.

Positioning: I have more power when others are playing into me. This is why the dealer position has so much power as I get a chance to see how others are playing before I bet. Let your date play into you. This means, don’t give away your hand first. Allure is fostered by strength and nonchalance. I cannot tell you how many people I have seen scare off someone they like because they give away too much to start. Please don’t fall in love right away. Find out first if it could be real.

A Willingness to Throw Away Bad Hands: Amateurs play every hand; pros throw away more than they play. You aren’t looking for pocket aces every hand but if he is seven deuce, thank him for his time and move on. You deserve to do better.

Small Gains Produce Better Results in the End: I have seen people win large amounts all at once and then slowly piss it all away more than I care to recount. If you find the right person it usually comes slowly, with small wins and special moments dealt out over time. The big, massive, fucking crazy passion experience usually is fun for a while and then crashes and burns. Feel free to eFnjoy that occasional big win, but know it often doesn’t work out.

Don’t Be Scared: This is the big one. You NEVER sit down at a table scared or you’ll lose. Dating is the same way. Like poker, it is meant to be enjoyed while you search for the right one. Each loss gets you closer to a win. I always encourage new players to get some advice from a seasoned player before they join the game. Don’t hesitate to do the same before you join the dating table.

When You Win Don’t Keep Playing and Lose It: Walk away with your money and be happy. The biggest loss that people often recount is the great person they let get away. Be smart and value that you have found someone wonderful.

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Feature photo courtesy of Flickr, under Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial license

gRant is a lead contributor to zenruption.  He desribes himself as proud papa, modern drummer, average golfer, music lover, football fanatic, baseball nut, vinyl record/craft beer/tattoo enthusiast. We love his guts.