by Sharon Jones

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We can argue that, in the modern age, that's it's important to have more of a focus on ourselves. And far from being selfish, when it comes to living a healthy life, we have to learn that we need some time to ourselves. But what happens when you've got a loved one or a close friend that needs you all of the time, and you're not able to be there for them as much as you'd like? Is it about being firm, or is it about finding a swift balance?

Being Strict With Your Boundaries

This is essential, because we need to realize that what we're doing is being there for them, but communicating the fact that we can't always be there. And it can be a very difficult thing to get across, but, what it means for us to be strict with our boundaries is about ensuring that they are safe in the knowledge that we are there for them, albeit on the other end of a telephone. And after a while, the message sinks in. It may not make you feel proud of yourself, but you need to establish boundaries.

Being Helpful With Big Statements

We can feel that we have to make it up to someone, and if we're not there for them, guilt creeps in, and so we tend to feel obliged to compensate for our own ego. Rather than make a grand sweeping statement, is there actually something you can do to help them get to the next stage of their life? Maybe they've been going through a tough time, and they need professional help or support, but they've not been able to acquire this themselves? What you can do is take the stress out of the process for them by setting up a meeting, or a consultation, especially in the legal sense, with lawyers like Frekhtman & Associates, so that they can get the appropriate help. On the other hand, if you want to help them by doing something major for them, perhaps if you are in the money, giving them an opportunity to go for visit to a spa, or something that they like, can give them that distance, physically and emotionally, from the situation. Big statements or helping with major tasks can be beneficial, but always remember it's for their benefit, rather than satisfying your ego.

Helping Them Help Themselves

This is one of the big things we can do. When we feel that we got to be there for someone, that caring instinct can take over, and we end up doing more than our fair share, meaning that they aren’t doing anything for themselves. But what we can do, rather than doing everything for them, is helping them to learn the things that they can do for themselves in the meantime. It's all relative, especially on what they're going through, but there's always something that we can do to help them help themselves.

Showing support for someone we care about isn't about doing everything for them, but also, we've got to realize that we have our own lives to lead. We have our own duties to take care of, and as such, it can be physically impossible to be there for someone all the time. But we can still show support for them in other ways.