By Michael Lawson
Do you have plans of getting a divorce or legal separation? If you do, your children should be your primary consideration. Yes, you heard it right. It is because the decisions you make today may affect your children along the way. There may be several reasons why married couples separate. But, whatever the reasons are, you are expected as parents to provide the best solution for the whole family during this challenging transition. Due to separation, children may experience a range of emotions which are stressful for them to deal with.
When you are separating with children, there are legal requirements you need to know and follow to ensure their best interests and welfare. Consider these things to prepare yourself and your children in the event of separation:
What Type Of Custody Is Suitable For Your Children?
Separation is indeed a tough decision you can make for your family. When you are in the process of seeking separation or divorce, your children are the most affected ones. Do you know why? It is because children like them need the continuing love and care of their parents. There are various legal conditions that will impact your children during this distressing phase. One of them is custody. Custody is essential in determining access and parenting time. It is your right as a parent to physically care your children. However, such legal requirements may depend upon the circumstances of your family. When you talk about custody, you may be granted sole custody, joint custody, shared custody, and even split custody.
Sole Custody: If you want sole custody of your children, you may be permitted to do so as long as you can manage everything for them. Since they will permanently reside with you, you’ll be responsible for anything⎯including decision-making and their exclusive care.
Joint Custody: You and your former spouse may be vested with joint guardianship of your children, sharing their care and decisions regarding them.
Shared Custody: With shared custody you are required to spend a pre-determined percentage of your time with the children.
Split Custody: This may be regarded as a problematic type of custody as some of your children would be under your supervision, and the others with your former spouse.
In cases like these, you just have to talk to your former spouse and come up with unique parenting arrangements that would benefit your children. After an amicable decision is made, the court will rule on a final decision regarding your children’s custody. You just have to work with your former partner to make the right decisions so that your children’s well-being would not be compromised in the long run.
What Are Other Essential Parenting Arrangements To Consider When Separating?
When you talk about the “interests of the child,” the first thing that comes to mind is the protection of their physical, emotional, mental and psychological well-being. As a parent, you should be mindful of their feelings toward the situation and acknowledge them as much as you can. Speak to them and try to let them understand where you are coming from and why your family needs to undergo separation. Below are the things you also bear in mind when separating with children:
Living Arrangements and Parenting Schedules: If possible, both parents should agree to be a part of their children’s lives. This means that you both are given access to share some physical time with them. That is why living arrangements and parenting schedules can make these things happen. When you are the other parent, you can even make use of these parenting arrangements to ensure your participation in your children’s growth and development. In that way, you’ll still be able to make things work, even though your family is separated.
Health Care and Education: Be active in your children’s health and education activities. As parents, you should both consider questions about who will accompany them during their medical appointments and take care of their medical expenses, who will attend school activities with them, and who will get their report cards. If you can do come to an agreement during the separation process, then you are following right track in both parent’s maintaining a better relationship with your children.
Communication: Are you regularly communicating with your children and former spouse after separation? If yes, then, you may be doing very well as a parent. Communication between children and parents is essential⎯especially when there are high conflict situations. So, take note of your communication arrangements including the mediums you use in communicating. Doing so may strengthen your relationship with your children.
Solving Problems: Guiding your children throughout their lives does not stop in the event of separation. As a parent, your duty to provide love, care, guidance, and support is never-ending. When issues occur with your children, arrangements on how to solve them would be beneficial.
What Your Children Need From You?
When dealing with separation, you are not only thinking about your other partner’s welfare. Your children would always be your priority in this stressful move for the family. If you are concerned about your children’s welfare, you’d probably take note of how they feel about themselves. As much as possible, reassure them of your love and presence in their lives. Listen to what your children say about their opinions without judgment. To avoid negative emotions, tell them that they are not to be blamed for the separation. Make sure that they don’t see you and the other parent fighting and always allow your children to love both of you without conditions. Reach out to your children’s teachers so that they know the situation. Lastly, establish a harmonious relationship with the other parent. Considering all of these helps your children cope and makes the acceptance of the separation a bit easier.
If you push through a legal separation or divorce against your spouse, it is always recommended to seek legal advice regarding your children’s welfare. Like bankruptcy, marital legal matters impact the entire family. It’s important to consider your children as your top priority, and maintain a mature and amicable relationship with your former partner for the benefit of your children.
Michael Lawson is a specialist bankruptcy attorney who has helped many clients in the past move past their bankruptcy. He currently writes for Blclawcenter.com. In his spare time, he likes to enjoy some downtime traveling with his family.
